Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Since the day The Wyatt Family arrived at the WWE, people have embraced them. It seemed that this was going to be one of those stables, one of those factions, one of those collections of wrestlers that would push us into the new dawn of professional wrestling.

All you had to do was look at them. Bray Wyatt, son of Mike rotunda. Grandson of Black Jack Mulligan. Nephew of Barry Windham. The man was a natural in the ring and electric on the stick. The leader of the Wyatt Family was primed to become a star.

Then you had Luke Harper, a giant with agility, speed and power. He’d cut his teeth in vicious battles at CZW as well as Dragon’s Gate. The man looked insane and could back up his looks of insanity with great technical ability and sheer destructive force.

Erick Rowan was the impressive unknown. Gigantic, wearing that creepy ass sheep mask. He didn’t posses the technical prowess of Harper or Wyatt, but man could he beat the shit out of somebody. Together they were the unstoppable force and we all waited with bated breath (and cellphones risen high) for the domination of the Wyatts.

Cue Vincent Kennedy McMahon

The inability for Vince McMahon to see the forest for the trees has become legendary. He has no idea what the current wrestling world wants or needs, he ignores the crowd and manages, like a force of nature, to destroy careers and screw up sure things.

Vince looked down from his golden tower and said, in the gravely voice of his, “Fuck these guys. Let’s bury them.” (I’m paraphrasing). From those mighty words did come the law, and the law was that The Wyatt Family would be driven from the lands of McMahon, turned from evil sorcerers to uppity jesters.

            Let’s look at some of the highlights of the Wyatt Family run. Twice Bray was buried by John Cena, at one point Cena managed to beat up all of the Wyatt’s at once during a cage match.

The Wyatt Family then managed to turn Daniel Bryan to their side only to be bested and defeated by Bryan after a bizarrely short run in the family.

 Bray then got into a stunt-show-masking-as-wrestling fight with Dean Ambrose. That one just ended. No fanfare or great matches, it just petered out.

From there, Bray fell to the Undertaker in a WrestleMania match that meant absolutely nothing. Then, for no fucking reason at all, the Wyatt’s were broken up and we got to watch as Erick Rowan and Luke Harper slid so far down the card R. Truth was waving to them from above.

            As inexplicably as they were separated, The Wyatts were suddenly back together, and this time they had a crushing partner with them. Brom Strowman was a giant. A former strong man contest winner who had grown a mountain man beard and learned to open his eyes incredibly wide to indicate he was crazy. Braun was big, he was strong, but he couldn’t wrestle…….at all……on any level. Nothing he did in the ring could even be charitably referred to as “wrestling”. Still, the Wyatts’ were back together and maybe the rejoicing could begin.


Soon after the addition of Braun, The Wyatt’s entered a meaningless beef with Undertaker and Kane. One they lost in stunning fashion. Still, with all of that, few things really put a nail in the coffin of the Wyatt Family like WrestleMania 32, where The Rock and John Cena cleared out the entire family.

Yep.  A part-timer/movie star and a guy who had been on the shelf injured for months laid out the most destructive force in the WWE. It was pathetic to watch, and it seemed that nothing would be able to save the Wyatts from the harsh sword of McMahon incompetence. 

            Inspiration can come from the most bizarre places. For the Wyatt Family it came in the form of an injury. During their recent European tour, Bray Wyatt injured his calf. He would be out for six weeks or more. For some it seemed like a tough break for Wyatt, but I saw it as a chance to save the stable. If nothing else, it got the Wyatts out of a stupid match against the League Of Mid-Card Wrestlers (League Of Nations) at Payback. In the one instance of intelligence WWE showed towards the Wyatt Family, the entire crew was taken off TV while Bray healed.

            So this is where we are. The Wyatt Family is off TV. Other things are at hand in the WWE. The people remember the Wyatts but they are no longer fresh in their minds. It is a perfect time to regroup and rethink the entire idea of the Wyatt Family. This unexpected break could be the reset button needed to get the Wyatt Family to the place they should already be. As it happens, we here at Knife Edge Chop have a great idea on how to execute that plan.

            First, mystery needs to be returned to the Wyatt Family. In order to do that the WWE has to create s a new illusion. A new element that alters how we all see the Wyatts has to surface. To us, that element is Sister Abigail.

The myth needs to come to life. The person who has always been at the center of Bray Wyatt’s power now needs to manifest in the ring. However, it can’t be in the typical ham-fisted way WWE does everything. It has to have darkness, weirdness and subtlety (a word that seems to make Vince’s nipples red with disdain).

            In the next few weeks, during any random match, the lights go out and we hear a woman laughing. Then the lights come back on. That’s it. Nothing more. Let that happen for a couple of weeks on RAW & Smackdown. It has to be random matches. No one person can be targeted, the laughter comes whenever and wherever. Random is the key.

            After establishing that something weird is happening, move the gimmick up a notch. During random matches the lights go out and then at the top of the ramp a single lantern begins to glow. Then it goes out and vanishes.

This should continue for the full month leading to a ppv (or WWE Network event as they’re called now). Every time the lantern appears it should be in a new place but closer to the ring. Once the lantern is established people will know this is about the Wyatts and the anticipation will be insane. 

            Backstage the next big rivalry for the Wyatts should be set up. I’d say the place to take it is Enzo & Cass. If you want to bring out the new Wyatts on a nuclear level, have them chase the newly recovered Enzo and his buddy Cass. At the next ppv, just as Enzo and Cass are about to win the titles (or their first defense of the titles), the lights go out. A lantern burns in the center of the ring and as it gets brighter we see a woman holds it. Abigail should be barefoot, wearing a dirty long dress with a veil masking her whole face.

She holds the lantern high and then blows it out. The lights come on and there stands Bray, Luke, Eric and Braun. They don’t do anything; they just stand there staring at Enzo & Cass who start talking trash.

The boys still don’t move they just look outside the ring where Sister Abigail is holding the lantern. She points at Enzo & Cass and the Wyatts obliterate them and the other team. Once they finish crushing them the lights go out and when they come back on the Wyatts are gone.

From then on the key to all of this is keeping the mystery. When Enzo and Cass are wrestling on RAW the lights will go out and the lantern appears at the top of the ramp but the Wyatt’s never come out. Instead, the distraction causes Enzo & Cass to lose.

On some episodes of RAW or Smackdown the lights go out and Bray cuts a promo but Sister Abigail ends it with “Follow The Buzzards”. The tension between Enzo & Cass and The Wyatts will come from these random appearances. The Wyatts never actually attack the team, which adds the their power as they continue to mess with Enzo & Cass without an actual attack. Finally Enzo & Cass beg for a match at the next ppv and the Wyatt’s agree. At said ppv the Wyatt Family win in devastating fashion. I would have the Wyatts win the Tag Titles and hold onto them for a long. Long time.

Moving on from there, the WWE would be smart to use the Wyatt Family as their own random force of nature. There should be no heel/face link to the Wyatts, they just show up and destroy people. Sometimes good guys, sometimes bad, sometimes tag teams, sometimes the singles champions.

Don’t have them at every ppv, only a few over time. The promos should be between Bray and Sister Abigail about how their job in this world is to disrupt the flow and bring anarchy to the WWE. Have them say they are holding the Tag Titles hostage because only they can release them; nobody has the power to take them. When the Wyatts do agree to defend the titles, have them win without cheating and in crushing form. This will add a huge chase factor to the Tag Titles and actually give them some clout.

Let that whole random anarchy notion rage until Royal Rumble. The Wyatts aren’t in the Rumble but, during it, the lights go out and they appear and clear the ring. Once everybody is eliminated, Luke, Eric and Braun leave the ring so that Bray stands tall.

The next night at RAW, Triple H says there will be some other way to determine the main event at WrestleMania because the WWE does not recognize Bray’s win. At that point the lights go out and when they come back on its just Abigail and Bray. Bray attacks Triple H and beats the piss out of him.

Just before Bray does something horrid to H, Stephanie comes out and asks what they want. Abigail says they want what anybody wants, to show their dominance. Stephanie says they will never be a part of WrestleMania to which Abigail responds that either they dominate there or continue to create anarchy.

Stephanie agrees but only if Abigail fights, to which she agrees. Stephanie then tries to find a team to take on the Wyatts at WrestleMania. Nobody wants to but she finally gets a team with a major player (Cena, Ambrose, etc), some new talent and one of the women wrestlers. When the Wyatts come out at WrestleMania, it should be the first time they come out to their old song with Abigail leading the way.

The match at WrestleMania must be a war. When Abigail reveals herself to fight, she should be scarred but somehow still look young. Her wrestling talent must be above reproach; the entire match depends on that. The Wyatts win the match and stand tall. They are the dominant force, and a force of nature. Something unpredictable but still able to wrestle and win matches.

From that WrestleMania on, have them focus on different issues. Luke & Eric can finally lose the tag titles. Bray can go after the heavyweight championship and then he holds it for a long, long time. Braun should have various beefs and use Abigail as a mouthpiece. At some point Abigail should go after the women’s title and maybe by SummerSlam they have most of the gold. Setting them up for various beefs with both heels and faces.

The Wyatts should, for as long as possible, be the random weird element floating around WWE. No rhyme or reason to what they do other than to fight and be dominate. At some point you can break them up, even maybe turn them against each other and then after that program they come back together. Wyatts should be something outside the continuity of WWE. It should always be weird and interesting and offbeat. That’s what the power of the Wyatt Family should always be.

You also have wiggle room once the Wyatts have been set up as the uncontrollable, dominant force in WWE. One of them can be led astray, turned against the family by a female wrestler looking to use him for the betterment of her career. The family could disband after internal strife and not reform for a year or more, making their reformation really powerful.

Bray could turn on Sister Abigail for complete control or, my favorite; they expand the Wyatt Family, using mid-card and underused talent as part of their ever-growing flock. Use the disgruntled WWE Superstar vibe as something for a killer storyline as they rise up against the better-known wrestlers. Once you establish who the Wyatts are, they become an endless font of creative storylines.

I doubt anybody will listen to us, but hopefully, whatever they do, the WWE finally does right by the Wyatt Family.

No comments:

Post a Comment